Anne Wheeler

Today we welcome Anne Wheeler on the blog! Be sure to check out her interview, and connect with her on facebook and twitter!

Tell us a little about yourself:
I’m a mom, wife, and full time worker bee who discovered writing later in life, and am having an awesome time with it.

How long have you been writing for?
Just about a year and a half. I started my first book in June of 2016.

What inspired you to be a writer?
I had a tiny little seed of the idea for Asrian Skies floating around in my head for a long time. It finally occurred to me that I could actually sit down and make it into a story, so I did.

How many books have you written? 
I’ve published one, with another one to be released this summer, and have one in process.

What is the most difficult part of your artistic process?
The worldbuilding, for sure. As a scifi reader, I struggle with caring about a lot of the details that most authors include, and that means they don’t come naturally to be as a writer. It takes my beta readers and critique partner saying things like, “Ok, but what do those trees look like,” to remind me that most readers want more information on a fantasy/scifi world than I naturally include.

What steps do you take in drafting an outline?
I actually don’t draft an outline at all. I just take an idea and sit down at the computer and write. I’ll admit it’s easier to write a second book in a series because I already know the characters, but as for plot, I just throw them into a scene and see what comes of it.

What are your top five tips for aspiring authors?

1. Read more than you write. I’d never written a book before Asrian Skies, but I’ve been an avid reader my entire life. It makes a difference.
2. Don’t give up. Every draft is fixable and every story has potential if you decide to see it through.
3. It’s ok to mix genres or write something you don’t think people will read. You’ll find your audience.
4. If you plan to self-publish, budget for professional editing right up front. There’s no substitute for it.
5. You don’t need to kill your darlings. If a scene if meant to be, you’ll find a way to fit it in, whether it’s in your current book or a future one.

How do you draft your work? Do you plot? Or do you just go for it?
I just sit down and write. I tried plotting my second novel because I thought “it was what you were supposed to do”, but I ended up deleting the entire second half because it just wasn’t working. Twice. The third time, I let the characters and plot go a lot more organically, and the end result was much better. Sometimes I’ll get a vague idea of how a book will end, other times it’s a chapter-by-chapter surprise for me.

What are some writing tips you have to share with aspiring authors?
Be cautious about who you accept advice from. There’s so much advice and a million writing tips floating around the internet, and some of it is from people with as little experience as you. What works for them (or even what works for a famous author) isn’t necessarily what’ll work for your genre, goals, writing process, or personal life.

Why is writing important to you?
It’s such a stress reliever. And it’s wonderful to hear readers say how much they enjoy my work.

What are your favorite situations to put your main characters through?
Anything emotional. I love those scenes where they think all hope is lost…and sometimes it ends up that’s actually the case!

What was your hardest scene to write?
There’s a scene in Asrian Skies where my main character pretty much breaks down. I can’t say anything else without giving away major spoilers. It’s in the middle of the book, but it was the last scene I wrote (just before it went off to be edited!) because it was just that intense—I really didn’t want to write it, but I knew it needed to be there. When my critique partner told me how intense she found it, I knew I’d made the right decision to include it.

Tell us a little about your most recent project, can you give us an excerpt?
My current work in progress is the third book in the Asrian Skies world. It’s a little different from the previous two books, but has some of my readers’ favorite characters, and I’m pretty excited about that. Here’s a short except from the very beginning:
The Valko swerved to the left again, and she struggled to control it in the harsh winds. She’d been wrong about being ready to fly again. Not because of the spacecraft’s incessant need to disobey her commands—the wind was bad that day—but because the calm she normally felt in space turned into something more like anxiety the closer they got to the ground. Her heart was pounding, but that was no surprise. What was surprising was how much her hands were shaking.

Before you go, is there anything left you would like to share with our readers?
Thanks for the opportunity, and you can find out more about me on my website, www.asrianskies.com

More About Anne:


Anne Wheeler grew up with her nose in a book but earned two degrees in aviation before it occurred to her she was allowed to write her own. Fascinated with space travel from an early age, speculative fiction was a natural fit. When not working, moving, or writing her next novel, she can be found planning her next escape to the desert. A military spouse, she lives in Georgia with her husband, son, and herd of cats. Follow her on Facebook and Twitter for up to date information on her stories and novels.

Author Links:

Twitter | Facebook

Robert Cubitt

Today we welcome Robert onto the blog for a great Author Talks! Be sure to check out the excerpt to his novel and check out his website!

Tell me a little bit about yourself:
I'm 66 years old, married, three children and two grand children. I've had three different careers before taking up full time writing. I've also, thanks to my employment, been lucky enough to travel to large parts of the world. I still enjoy travelling and would like to be able to afford to do more.

What first inspired you to start writing?
I was always a keen writer as a child and never really lost the habit. I'm far better at expressing my thoughts in writing than in the spoken word. Some people say that their life is accompanied by a musical soundtrack in their head. Mine runs to a plot line in my head. As a child, when I went to bed at night, I told myself made up stories in my head until I fell asleep. This is something I still do now, the difference being that when I get up in the morning I now write the stories down.

Are you a plotter or a pantser?
Definitely a pantser. I have the idea for the first couple of thousand words of a story, then wait and see where it will take me. I'm often just as surprised at what happens as I hope my readers will be.

Are your characters based off real people or did they all come entirely from your imagination?
They are built up based on the needs of the story, a sort of 'designer person'. But I will often imagine real people that bear some similarities to the characters. The character has to act and react like a real person, so it helps me to keep them grounded, providing I'm allowed a little bit of poetic licence

What book have you read that has most influenced your life and writing?
So many to choose from. I think the first 'adult' book that I read was one of the James Bond novels and I think that encouraged me to be bold. James Bond is one of the most unrealistic heroes in fiction - yet the world loves him.

Tell us a little about your plans for the future. Where do you see yourself as a writer in five years?
Having just finished writing a 9 book series I would like to try another one. I have just started a project that is going to consume most of my writing time this year, so in 5 years time I might just be getting to the end of another multi-book series - but don't ask me what it will be about because I have no idea yet. There are also a couple of my earlier works that I'd like to write sequels or prequels for, so maybe I'll revisit them when I have the time.

Of all the characters you have created, which is your favorite and why?
An Kohli, protagonist in my Magi series, is undoubtedly my favourite. Being able to develop a character over several books allowed me to make her more multi-layered. She feels more real to me than most of the other characters I've ever created. In fact she feels more real to me than some real people I know.

Any website or resources that have been helpful to you as a writer?
I follow a number of writers groups on Facebook, but especially The Writer's Circle. They post all sorts of useful stuff with links to the source so I can follow up and get a more in depth help if I need it.

What do you love most about the writing process?
Using my imagination. In my previous jobs I was always constrained by the vision (or lack of it) of others. Now I feel I can create any sort of world that I want. It doesn't always work out, but when it does it's wonderful.

If you could spend time as a character from your book whom would it be?
And what would you do during that day? Again, it would have to be An Kohli and I'd want to go to one of the worlds that I created for her. Space is just so full of possibilities. I wish I was younger because I have a feeling that there will be some genuine developments in space travel over the next 100 years.

What are some tips you can give other aspiring writers?
Write every day. It doesn't matter what and it doesn't matter how good it is. Just get into the habit. Stories will come if you open your mind to let them in and the quality of writing will improve as you learn what works and what doesn't. But to be practical - a creative writing course is always a good investment of time and money.

What are you working on now?
I've just started writing a memoir based on some voice recordings made by my father, telling about his life in the army during World War II. It's very much a labour of love.

Can you share an excerpt with us from one of your novels/projects?
This is the opening scene from Book 1 of the magi series, title "The Magi".

One - The Out of Place Android

The door of the shuttle craft hissed downwards and An Kohli stepped out along the ramp it formed. Two younglings stared at her with interest, but when they saw that she wasn’t carrying goods to barter or sell they lost interest and scuttled off about their own business.

Such was the nature of the galaxy these days; not even the arrival of a shuttle craft attracted any interest. She doubted that the younglings would even mention her arrival to their parents. That suited her for the time being. She wanted to find the one she was looking for and then get off this useless lump of rock and never see it again.

Dust swirled around her and she wrapped her neck-cloth around her face in a vain attempt to keep the dust from entering her mouth and nose. Already she could feel the grit between her teeth. She looked at the hand held tracker. The steady pulse indicated that her target was about one hundred li to the north, if this lump of rock actually had a north. OK, she admitted to herself, north was a concept not an actuality; her target was about one hundred li diagonally to her left. It would feel like double that in the heat and dust of this lump of rock. She wished she’d landed the shuttle a little closer but she hadn’t wanted to let him know she was coming. He was the type who always ran first and asked questions afterwards.

An Kohli took a deep breath, regretting it at once as she inhaled a mouthful of dust, and strode forward, skirting past some mud built houses. She passed the same two younglings struggling to pull a bucket of water from a well and then pour it into a small tank mounted on wheels. When the tank was full it would need both of them to drag it home. Again she puzzled at the nature of a galaxy where the arrival of a shuttle craft from an orbiting space ship could attract so little attention, but where the inhabitants of the planet still drew their water from wells. She gave a mental shrug. The galaxy was a big place and she had encountered stranger things than younglings at a well.

The dust continued to torment her as she crossed the open ground. Across the rock strewn plain she could see the building she was heading for. There were draft animals tethered outside and a crude neon sign announced its purpose, though she couldn’t read the alien script. She corrected herself angrily. Here it was she who was the alien.

She pushed open the door and ducked under the low lintel into the dim room. Bars across the galaxy all seemed to conform to a type, she mused. The darker the interior the more shady its clientele and there was no one shadier than the one she was looking for. Now for the fun part.

He was a shape shifter, which meant that he could be any one of the occupants of the bar. There was a trick to identifying a shape shifter, though. Stare at him, or her, for ten seconds or more and he, or she, was bound to reveal themselves. They hated being stared at. The problem was that if you stared at people in this sort of bar you were likely to start a fight, which was why shape shifters liked bars like this one.

Her arrival had caused heads to turn. Her tall, slender figure always attracted attention. One look at the powerful Menafield Pulsar holstered on her hip suggested that there was nothing to look at here and that it was a good idea for people to just go about their business. She stomped her way to the bar, her thick soled boots making the floor vibrate. Sly looks still came her way, admiring her good looks and the waves of glossy purple hair that framed her face perfectly. She ignored them and focused on the task at hand.

End of extract.

Is there anything else you would like to share with us before you go?
Books aren't an alternative to TV or cinema; books are what allows TV and cinema to exist, but the book will always take you deeper into a fictional world than TV or cinema ever can.

More About Robert:

Bob was born in Edinburgh in December 1951 to Katherine Sutherland and Bob Cubitt (confusing at times). Bob senior was a professional soldier and the first few years of Bob's life was spent travelling around the world with his family. During his first 15 years he lived in Edinburgh, Austria, Malaya, Enfield, Leigh-on-Sea, Maldon (the Essex one), Harlow and Peckham.


Fed up with such an itinerant lifestyle, in 1968 Bob Joined the Royal Air Force as an apprentice electronics technician and spent the next 23 years travelling the world and enjoying all that service life had to offer. Places visited included Oman (a small island by the name of Masirah), Cyprus, Malta, Holland, Germany and various parts of the UK. During this time he met and married Bernadette and produced three children, Ewan, Tara and Sinead. He retired from the RAF in 1991.
Following on from this Bob took up new employment with Royal Mail as part of their logistics team and stayed with them until 2009. After that he returned to his roots and took up a position with the Ministry of Defence at their Logistics facility at Bicester, Oxfordshire, before leaving to take up full time writing  2012.

Bob has always been keen on writing and had tried his hand at various projects over the years, but the need to earn a crust had always interfered with his desire to be more creative. Now with time to spare, Bob returned to writing with passion and produced two works of fiction in rapid succession. In truth these had been "works in progress" while he had still been in full time employment and just needed finishing off. Since publishing these  books on Amazon he has focused on new projects and now has a total of  nine fiction and three non-fiction works published, with more in the pipeline.

In his spare time Bob enjoys playing golf, is an ardent supporter of Northampton Saints rugby club and is a member of a pub skittles team. He also writes a weekly blog for this website.

Author Website

Laura E. Thompson

I am so excited to welcome Laura on the blog again for an interview! If you missed Laura's post, be sure to check it out here.

Tell me a little about yourself:
I come from a small town in Vermont, which I believe inspired much of my book. I have been a fan of fantasy for a long time, but forgot how much I loved it until I read Harry Potter as an adult. I was then hooked on it again and started reading tons of fantasy novels before deciding that I wanted to write one of my own. I love teaching and helping other writers too. I am a simple girl that loves reading, writing, spending time with family and spending time in nature.

What inspired you to first start writing?
I have always loved writing and was writing stories at the age of 7. In high school my dad wrote a play called Seniors about relationships between older people, like the ones he grew up with, his parents, aunts and uncles etc. Our town did a production of the play and he received a standing ovation. I was so proud that all of the people in the audience were applauding my father’s words that came from his own heart and mind. I decided then that I wanted to write something of my own and have the courage to share it with others. I wrote my first novella not long after at the age of 16, however the courage to be able to share my writing took a lot longer to achieve.

What was the first book you had ever written?
I wrote my first novella entitled Benchman at the age of 16, I have shared it with very few people but I still have it, hand written in two notebooks. Perhaps someday I will type it out and work on it some more and then publish it. We shall see. ;)

Which teachers growing up inspired you to write and why?
I had a sixth grade English teacher that taught us how to write short stories in a believable way. I wrote one in her class and at the end of the year she gave me the English award for highest achievement that year. When she handed me the book and certificate she said, “I think you show real promise with your writing. If you stick to it, I think you could be a published author one day.” I didn’t really believe her at the time, but now I am very appreciative for her support.

I also had a creative writing teacher in H.S. that taught me how to extend and add more detail to my stories in order to create not just short stories but novels. He was also extremely supportive and told me that I had talent.

Then in college I had a creative writing and public speaking professor that had been a published author and he answered a lot of my questions about how the publishing industry worked. He also read my novella from H.S. and told me that I did have a lot of talent and that I should have the courage to share it.

Are you a plotter or pantser?
I usually have some very basic notes written down about character’s backgrounds or details that I want to include in the story, however, I try not to plan too much. I write when I am inspired to write, when the characters and story is speaking to me. That is not to say that I do not write every day though. I try to write something every day. If not part of my novel then a blog post or notes for future stories or edits or pieces of my workshops that I teach. But the novel writing I save for when I am really in the mood and really inspired.

What genre have you not written in but are interested in pursuing?
I love mysteries particularly ghost story mysteries like the ones that Karen White writes. I loved her Tradd Street series. I would like to write something similar one day, an old Victorian house, a trapped ghost that is trying to get a message to the living. I love that stuff and have always wanted an old house, although I do not have one currently.

Do you prefer music or silence when you write? Why?
I am a mother and I have a fulltime job so believe it or not I have become accustomed to writing with all kinds of noise, my son talking to me, his kids TV shows playing in the background, silence, music, it doesn’t make much difference to me. Once I am in the zone nothing from outside of my head stops me. :) I guess I am lucky in that respect.

What is the most difficult part of writing?
I think switching from one novel to another is the hardest. I get used to one storyline and one set of characters and then to start a whole new one can be difficult. I recently started a novel that is more of a drama story about a young girl growing up in the country in 1912, (not at all fantasy) and it is challenging to stay engaged with it. I am not feeling a huge connection to the characters yet, although they are starting to grow on me more and more, so I know I just have to continue to stick with it. I am curious how their story will turn out. :)

How do you overcome writers block?
Writers block definitely is a real thing and it can be very hard to overcome. However, it is not impossible. I have pieces of this included in some of my Writing Counselor workshops because it is often something people struggle with. I also would love to do a workshop completely devoted to this topic. There are tons of different ways people can overcome this issue; however for me what works best is to take a break for a while and do something else like read. Then I do a specific writing mediation and ask for guidance and inspiring ideas. Typically within a week or so of doing this, I do have either a very vivid dream or an idea that comes to me in some other way. I provide a free version of my meditation that I use, complete with instructions on my writers support Facebook group Wise Warrior Writers. The link is listed below. I hope anyone interested will join me there.

Do you have a group of writers to help you along the way? Would your recommend this to other authors?
I do, and yes I definitely recommend it. I follow a group on Twitter called Turtlewriters, #turtlewriters, they have been very supportive and helpful, but I decided that I wanted more. I wanted to start one of my own. So as stated above I created the Facebook group Wise Warrior Writers. The link is listed below with my contact information. I hope people will join me there!

What are 5 important things that help you write? 
I think number one; is it is important to have a tight network of supporters both online and physical support. My family is a tremendous support system of mine. I also have a group of like-minded spiritual friends one of which is my business coach. They are all helpful and supportive of my writing and coaching.

Number two; challenging myself is also important. I have challenged myself by switching genres from fantasy to this new book which is more of a realistic time period drama. It is tough, but it has proven so far to be good for me. I am also challenging myself to take my writing out of novel writing and blog writing and using it to teach and coach others by starting my writing coaching business, so that is a great new endeavor for me.

Number three; I would say reading is very important. It helps to inspire creativity and compare writing styles. Just remember you have your own style and your own voice and that is okay.
Number four; would be staying connected to what my goals are but more importantly why I have the goals that I have. All too often people create these huge goals for themselves without any thought to the why or the intention of the goal. It is important to remember what you are trying to gain so that you can work toward feeling that intention regardless of what avenue you take to do accomplish it.
Lastly; I would say it is hugely important to be grateful for what you did accomplish and what you do have. I am grateful everyday for my support network, for my ability to write, for the guidance I receive and for the opportunities that have presented themselves to me. Even if an opportunity didn’t work out the way I thought it would, if I learned something from it, it was not a waste and I am grateful for it.

What are you currently working on?
I am working on so many things it’s crazy but awesome! Right now I have someone creating my cover for my second Elven Quest novel, entitled Elemental’s Favor., which I will be publishing later in 2018. The book has undergone its edits and I am having it beta read now so it will be ready to publish. I am so excited to share the next leg of Isobel’s journey with everyone, (she is the main character of the first novel, The Burden of Destiny). The sequel is great because it introduces a lot of new conflict and characters into the story.

Secondly, I mentioned above that I am launching my Writing Counseling business and am working hard to create fantastic online workshops to help writers cope with things like writers block, conquering your fears, areas of publishing, how to take the “overwhelm” out of writing and add it into your daily routine, etc. I will also be offering one on one coaching sessions to give writers more individualized attention, looking at their writing together and offering advice and support. In addition, I am a Freelance editor and was using the website Upworks for this, but I am now adding it to my website so people can contact me through my website to hire me for Freelance Editing for their novels. I will also continue to post blogs every 1st and 15th of the month. Lastly, of course I will continue to work on the new 1912 drama novel and see where that story takes me.

Can you share an excerpt from one of your novels with us? 

This is from the second book Elemental’s Favor:
He held out a hand and helped Isobel to her feet. Just then they heard a yell from Nathaniel as several Carachi knocked him to the ground slicing his chest and arm. Just as they took a step toward him Isobel heard a howl from behind her and out of a corner of her eye she saw several beasts run by her and Airyion's legs. They watched as a pack of wolves ran toward the Carachi clawing and biting them. Then she heard a zing and an arrow flew by her ear, hitting one of the Carachi in the back. Another arrow flew from the trees and another and another. She glanced up and saw only branches. The arrows flew through them, one after another, hitting the Carachi as the wolves continued to circle and attack them….

Before you go, is there any tips or advice you can give other aspiring authors?
I give a lot more detailed advice on my blog posts and in my workshops but I can offer a few pieces of advice here: 1.) Give yourself time to write and try to feel good about using that time for that purpose, you are worth it! 2.) Make sure you connect with others and have a support network set up for yourself. 3.) Before you embark on the publishing world try to do as much research as you can. It is very confusing out there and there are a lot of great avenues offered and a lot of not so great avenues so try to research as much as you can first. 4.) Write goals for yourself, but also make sure to include the intention of that goal. Why do you want to achieve that goal? What will you gain from it? How will it make you feel? All of these things are important to think about. 5.) Lastly, but probably most importantly, be kind to yourself! We all have inner critics and it is easy to read another book or look at someone else’s blog or re-read what you have written and tell yourself its not good enough or no one will like it. That is not true and it is a dark hole to fall into. We all have our own unique voices, won’t you share yours?

Where can we find you online?
Website: https://lauraethompson2.wixsite.com/mysite-1
Blog: https://lauraethompsonauthor.blogspot.com/
Facebook support group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/311357982714998
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LauraEThompsonauthor15/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/LauraEThompson6
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Laura-E.-Thompson/e/B01JTS0MMO/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1503020071&sr=1-2-ent
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-burden-of-destiny-laura-e-thompson/1123969620;jsessionid=0CCC922F0BE6333A25929C5F25A309FC.prodny_store01-atgap04?ean=2940158405136
Email: lauraethompson@outlook.com

More About Laura:

Laura Thompson grew up in a small town on an island that sits in the middle of Lake Champlain in Vermont. She has been writing short stories since the young age of seven and has been an avid reader for longer than that. Although Laura is an adult her imagination is still as active as it was as a child only now, instead of using it to create make believe games she harnesses it through writing.  

Her first novel was written and completed at the age of sixteen while taking a creative writing class and although not published Laura still feels it was the first step on her path of becoming an author. Laura started writing the Elven Quest Series in 2007, “I had not written for pleasure in a long time and one day the characters from The Elven Quest Series entered my mind and wouldn’t leave. I had no choice but to sit down and write their story. Two years and over 800 pages later three novels are finished and I’m so excited to share them with the world.”

Laura holds her Masters in Higher Education Counseling, has a BA in Sociology and has recently begun a Writing Coaching and Freelancing Editing business. In grad school she co-wrote the published ethical theory model entitled Key Factors in Making Ethical Decisions Model, a chapter in the textbook: Ethical Decision Making for the 21st Century Counselor (Counseling and Professional Identity) by Donna S. Sheperis and Stacy L. Henning. Laura currently resides in Massachusetts with her husband Daniel, wonderful son William and cat Luna

Humor in Books

Guest Post by

Robert Cubitt

When it comes to reading the ‘blurbs’ on book covers, the words that fill me with dread are “funny”, “hilarious” and “humorous”, or their many synonyms.

It isn’t that I don’t have a sense of humour, it’s that humour is so subjective. Try this joke:
‘A man walks into a bar. He says “Ouch!”

It was an iron bar.’

Did you find that funny? Are you, as you read, rolling around on the floor, slapping your thighs, with tears of mirth running down your cheeks? Are you smiling indulgently? Or are you asking “What’s funny about that?”

Somewhere, out there in the Twitterverse, someone may have raised a slight smile at that joke, but that’s about it. For the rest, tumbleweed rolled across the scene.

We’ve all been in the pub, or at a party, or even at work, when one of our companions has spent 5 minutes telling us what they thought was the funniest joke ever, and we’ve ended up thinking “Well, that’s 5 minutes of my life I’ll never get back”, then looked on in puzzlement as other companions split their sides laughing.

But when an author, or their publisher, describes their work as funny etc they EXPECT you to laugh, whether it is really funny or not. And if “funny” is its biggest selling point, then that is high risk.
And this is why I get so worried when I see those words on a book blurb that says that the contents are going to make ME split my sides laughing. Bitter experience tells me that this is not going to happen.

I was reminded of this when I recently read a book which described itself as “a madcap comedy of truly ludicrous proportions.” I won’t name the author or the book, as they’ve got enough problems without me adding to them. But I should have known better. The whole book was clearly aimed at trying so, so hard to make me laugh and failing at every attempt. The premise for the book was a good one: what if the frustrations we meet in life were to follow us into death? But the joke wore thin very quickly and there was nothing to replace it as the book dragged interminably onwards.

If you think that I’m being very grudging, then I need mention none greater than the Bard himself, William Shakespeare. Take these examples of wit from his plays:

"For defect of judgment Is oft the cure of fear." 
--Belarius, "Cymbeline," Act. IV, Sc. II

"Where's hourly trouble for a minute's ease."
--Helicanus, "Pericles, Prince of Tyre," Act II, Sc. IV

"Most spend their mouths when what they seem Runs far before them."
--Dauphin, "King Henry V," Act II, Sc. IV

"Some rise by sin and some by virtue fall..."
--Escalus, "Measure for Measure," Act II, Sc. I

Oh, please stop me, foresooth there goes another rib! (Robert Cubitt)

“Ah,” I hear you say, “but the use of language was different then. The audiences of the day would have been rolling in the aisles.”

Somehow, I doubt it. Having said that, the groundlings no doubt enjoyed Shakespeare’s frequent dirty jokes. Here are a couple.

Twelfth Night: Act 1, Scene 3

SIR ANDREW But it becomes me well enough, does ’t not?

SIR TOBY BELCH Excellent; it hangs like flax on a distaff; and I
hope to see a housewife take thee between her legs and spin it off.

Hamlet: Act 3, Scene 2

HAMLET Lady, shall I lie in your lap?

OPHELIA No, my lord.

HAMLET I mean, my head upon your lap?

OPHELIA Ay, my lord.

HAMLET Do you think I meant country matters?

OPHELIA I think nothing, my lord.

HAMLET That’s a fair thought to lie between a maids' legs.

OPHELIA What is, my lord?

HAMLET Nothing.

I have to admit, they aren’t the dirtiest jokes I’ve ever heard, if jokes they are, but maybe the groundlings were a little less sophisticated in those days.

Did Shakespeare describe his comedies as such? I suspect that he must have, otherwise no one would have known whether they should have laughed or cried. The expectation of jokes is half way to getting the audience to laugh.

It’s fine for the author’s family and friends to say that a book is funny, but the author should remember, family and friends tend to be kind. Books require the far more objective view of dissociated readers before they can be called funny.

Just because your partner laughs at you, it doesn’t make you a comedian and just because an author’s partner chuckles at the jokes in a book (which they may have heard before anyway) it doesn’t mean that a book is funny. Let others be the judge of that. The book I mentioned above only garnered an average 3.6 stars in terms of reviews on Amazon and the lower valued reviews (28% at 1 and 2 stars) all said pretty much the same thing – it just wasn’t funny. Maybe I should have read the reviews before I bought the book, after all, that’s what they’re there for.

Of course, it could be worse. Having spent months writing what the author thought was a literary masterpiece, describing the highs and lows of human existence, it could be something of a smack in the mouth for a reviewer to call it “hilarious”. But at least the author will know that the humour was accidental.

Being funny for money, I believe, is one of the hardest jobs in the entertainment world. If a singer or musician offers a halfway passable rendition of a song, they will probably get a round of applause, even if only out of sympathy. And here’s the thing, they’ll get the applause even if the audience has heard the song before.

But if a comedian tells jokes that don’t make the audience laugh, or which the audience has heard before, they’ll walk off the stage to the sound of their own footsteps.

The author of a “comedy” may never hear their book hit the wall, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t thrown. If you want an honest opinion of your book, don’t ask friends and family – ask a reader. But be prepared for his or her review.

About the Author:

Bob was born in Edinburgh in December 1951 to Katherine Sutherland and Bob Cubitt (confusing at times). Bob senior was a professional soldier and the first few years of Bob's life was spent travelling around the world with his family. During his first 15 years he lived in Edinburgh, Austria, Malaya, Enfield, Leigh-on-Sea, Maldon (the Essex one), Harlow and Peckham.

Fed up with such an itinerant lifestyle, in 1968 Bob Joined the Royal Air Force as an apprentice electronics technician and spent the next 23 years travelling the world and enjoying all that service life had to offer. Places visited included Oman (a small island by the name of Masirah), Cyprus, Malta, Holland, Germany and various parts of the UK. During this time he met and married Bernadette and produced three children, Ewan, Tara and Sinead. He retired from the RAF in 1991.
Following on from this Bob took up new employment with Royal Mail as part of their logistics team and stayed with them until 2009. After that he returned to his roots and took up a position with the Ministry of Defence at their Logistics facility at Bicester, Oxfordshire, before leaving to take up full time writing  2012.

Bob has always been keen on writing and had tried his hand at various projects over the years, but the need to earn a crust had always interfered with his desire to be more creative. Now with time to spare, Bob returned to writing with passion and produced two works of fiction in rapid succession. In truth these had been "works in progress" while he had still been in full time employment and just needed finishing off. Since publishing these  books on Amazon he has focused on new projects and now has a total of  nine fiction and three non-fiction works published, with more in the pipeline.

In his spare time Bob enjoys playing golf, is an ardent supporter of Northampton Saints rugby club and is a member of a pub skittles team. He also writes a weekly blog for this website.

Author Links:
Website | Twitter | Facebook | Amazon

Martyn Currill

Today I am so excited to introduce you to Martyn Currill! Be sure to check out his interview, author bio, and author links below!

Tell me more about yourself:
A question that always gets me! Where do I start...well, I’ve lived in England most of my life, after my parents moved back here when my dad left the Army. I love Sci-fi and fantasy, and I’m a big fan of heavy, powerful instrumental music – great stuff to write to!

How many books have you written:
I’ve written three, but published two. The third in that series needs some editing and re-writing.

What inspired you to first start writing?
Wow, that’s going back...um, I’d have to say it began as an outlet. I’d always had a big imagination – like most writers, I expect, but when I was younger that came out through playing with toys. As I got older and I moved on from toys and action figures, that imagination needed a new outlet, and concocting stories filled that need perfectly!

What is your writing kryptonite?
Videogames! I’m a keen gamer among other things, and they can inspire ideas like anything else...but sometimes they drag me in too much!

What is the best way to market your book?
I’m very bad at this bit, but social media is certainly invaluable for reaching huge audiences.

What is your favorite unappreciated novel?
The Dahak trilogy, by David Weber. An excellent author, who inspired me in the past, and sone brilliant ideas in those three books.

What was the hardest scene you've ever had to write? 
There was a death scene – not wanting to give spoilers for anyone who hasn’t read my book yet – but it was a character I loved, who was great to write and had so much potential, but their death was key to the events of the book. It hurt, I tell you!

What tips do you have for aspiring authors? 
The two best bits I’ve come across: ignore the advice. Basically, forget what everyone else says is the way to write, and write YOUR way. You’ll be more comfortable and thus more productive. And, the one attributed to every author – write the book you want to read. That’s what I did.

How many hours a day do you write?
It depends. As many as I can, which can be anywhere between 1 and 5, deoending on whether or not I hit a stride.

What are you currently working on? 
A high fantasy novel, and the third of my vampire series.

Can you share an excerpt with us? 
The scholar jumped again as an arrow erupted from Drisca's throat, and she dropped to her knees with a gurgle, her eyes wide with shock. As soon as she was struck, Nols was up again and clenching his small weapon, looking around in panic for his boss' assailant. Even as the scholar watched, it seemed as though a shadow came to life and lashed out with something dark and glinting, and blood sprayed out from the back of Nols' legs as something severed his hamstrings. He collapsed with a shout of pain, but only briefly – that same glinting darkness lanced downward, puncturing his eye and ending his cries.

Before you go, is there anything else you would like to share with us?
Yes, my two published books are currently available on Amazon Kindle and feedaread.com, and the first is now also available on Kobo and assorted other ebook sites. Anyone wanting to reach me can do so @Maliceunchained on Twitter, or at mcurrill@yahoo.com for email. I’m also (begrudgingly) on facebook!

About the Author:

Martyn Currill is 34 years old, and lives with his fiancée, daughter, and their German Shepherd in Merseyside, England, where he spends most of his time coming up with entertaining lies. He can be found on Twitter, @MaliceUnchained (don't ask), or by email at mcurrill@yahoo.com.


Links:

A Life In Blood (book 1) - https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01M5LFJGN

 

Of Angel's Blood (book 2) - https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B073DKG8FC

The Bulletproof Proposal Review

Book Summary:

After five years of dating Lisa is anticipating that all-important question, will you marry me?
Impatient, Lisa decides to take matters into her own hands and propose to Matt, after all it is the 21st Century.

Only she takes it one step further and with the help of her best friend Mandy, she prepares the ultimate proposal.

What she doesn’t know is whether this will be the beginning of her happily-ever- after or the beginning of the end.

Purchase Link:

Amazon

My Review:
The Bulletproof Proposal is an adorable read. From beginning to end it's a quick paced, enchanting tale about love and friendship and making your dreams come true. Lisa is a bit of a bridezilla and tends to go overboard by taking matters into her own hands, but it's an adventure worth reading! If you are looking for a light, fairy-tale like read, than be sure to check this novella out!

                                             

About the Author:

Rebekah Louise is 32 and lives with her husband and 3 year old son. Rebekah enjoys Yoga, walking and traveling. When not writing, Rebekah likes to read books by authors such as Sophie Kinsella and Jane Fallon. She also reads psychological thrillers (just to mix it up a little).

Rebekah takes inspiration for her stories from everyday life, from the people she meets, to the conversations she overhears whilst doing her favorite activity - drinking coffee and eating cakes.

Author Links:

Website | Facebook | Twitter

What Kinds of Writing Can I Do & How?

Guest Post by

Laura Thompson

Hi Readers,

Today I am going to talk about the types of writing that you can do and the best methods to do these writings. I have visited several schools over the past year talking to students about becoming an author and answering questions about writing itself. This question came up a few times, “what type of writing could I do?” Well…there are quite a few, especially now with the ability to publish practically anything on social media so lets discuss.

Let’s start with books something that I know a bit about being a published author of a fantasy series entitled Elven Quest. So, writers could write something as large as a novel, these are considered books between 60,000-110,000 words. Novellas are typically 30,000-50,000 words. Short stories are typically between 1500-3000 words and flash fiction is usually between 300-1500 words. How To/Self Help books are typically between 40,000-50,000 words. Lastly, children’s books are usually 300-800 words. Of course all of this depends on the type of genre it is as well as the font size you are using. Typically agents and publishers like to see size 12 fonts. So in review, here are a few types of books you could write, novels, novellas, short stories, flash fiction, How To/Self Help or children’s picture books. Not included in here are also poetry books, memoirs, or biographies.

So what if you are not ready to sit and write an entire book or that is not something you are interested in? There are many other types of writing that you can do. One is blogging or journal writing for a website. Blogging is similar to writing a diary only you typically focus it on a certain subject like travel, cooking, writing, do it yourself, politics etc. And you show this “diary” entry to lots of other people online. It’s a great way to connect with other people about something that you are passionate about, as well as voicing your own opinions and experiences. The other great thing about blogs is that they can be set up for free using websites like Blogger, Blogspot, Wix and many others. They also do not typically need a lot of time spent on them. You can sit and write a blog in as little as 20 minutes if you’re fast. Or you can write them ahead of time and set them up to be automatically posted at different times on different dates. It is also fun to add pictures to your blog to appeal to people visually. I write a blog about writing and it is enjoyable for me to sit down and write something so short at times rather than working on my lengthier editing and writing of my novels. At the bottom of the page is a link to my site, I hope you’ll visit.

If you have something that you would like to teach others you could write presentations, workshops, classes or other self-help or personal development style teaching sessions. Everyone has events that they have been through or experiences to share. You could break these things down into a service that you offer for others. This is what I am doing now. With the help of a business coach I am setting up another side business, (other than being an Author and Freelance Editor). It is a Writing Coaching business. I have created a Facebook support group for writers or want to be writers called Wise Warrior Writers. There I will be offering virtual workshops and courses of all different varieties dealing with all kinds of writing blocks and issues like how to conquer writers block, how to stay invested in your writing goals, how to set up writing goals or how to fit writing into your life. I often give away free tips and tools and then offer discounts for my 5 day workshops as well as my longer six week workshops. I am now offering one on one counseling sessions. Join my Facebook group or check out my website for more info.

You could also start your own magazine or online newspaper and interview other people as well as writing articles yourself. You could have a physical location for this or you could simply set up a website and do this all online. There are so many ways to connect with others via social media now that I doubt you would ever be in short supply of people to interview. I also know many people that have created a book review website where they read novels and write reviews online. There is one author I know that also is well known for being a play critic, which means she watches plays and then writes reviews about them.

There are also different types of freelance writing. For example, grant writing, Non-profit writing, ghost writing, website/article writing for someone else’s website, essay writing and even business plan writing. If any of these freelancing writing jobs sounds interesting to you I would suggest doing a bit more research to see if you could qualify.

I hope this blog has been helpful to you in terms of giving you some ideas for how you can utilize your writing talents. I think we can definitely use more writers in the world, but maybe I’m biased because I am one. ;) Thanks for reading friends and remember my motto, writing=happiness ;).

About the Author:

Laura holds her Masters in Higher Education Counseling, has a BA in Sociology and has recently begun a Writing Coaching and Freelancing Editing business. In grad school she co-wrote the published ethical theory model entitled Key Factors in Making Ethical Decisions Model, a chapter in the textbook: Ethical Decision Making for the 21st Century Counselor (Counseling and Professional Identity) by Donna S. Sheperis and Stacy L. Henning. Laura currently resides in Massachusetts with her husband Daniel, and wonderful son.

Author Links:

Website | Twitter